
A catalogue of the madness of
This NaNoWriMo: Illumine. A YA urban fantasy, it follows a girl and her brother who must fight to save the dreamworld from the evil that threatens to overtake it.
Also included: Blades and Veils. A story of high adventure, war, intrigue, swords, death, angst, and ineffectual romance. ^_^ You'll find character development, questions, late night incoherency, writing resources, and a constant bombarding of excerpts. You have been warned. As it is written out of order, for reading purposes, I suggest you start here and then follow the posts from the outline.Also included: Bourbon St. A fiction series of vignettes in a novel's form- scattered, brief, and picturesque, it follows characters closely with little regards for plot- a story of the locals of New Orleans. This is still scattered, barely out of the initial concepts, and still without an outline. The thread can be followed here.
Well, I'd hope that it isn't too much to ask for, but at the moment, i'm not holding out my hopes....
I've got a few things that I'm semi-happy with, in that they at least accomplished what I meant to do, even if they're not well written. But i feel like I have forgotten how to write, what it means to develop characters and find a world amidst a barely-built plot. In other words, I've been getting frustrated because I'm trying to write 2,500 words a day and have it turn out a brilliant, creative fantasy novel the likes of which have not been read, and will astound all of my friends to say that I have hit on sometihng beyond what they expected.
Somebody smack me, please? It's Nanowrimo; I keep having to remind myself that. Good things might come out of it, but maybe I shouldn't be expecting fully developed, living novels, whenever I have no idea what it is I'm doing.
Anyhow, here's hoping I get a clue by week 2.

I did sign myself up for
The dread hasn't set in yet (I think because I chose a smaller goal this month) but I still have no idea what I'm doing.
On that note, hey! Heck of a way to start a month.
For those of you I didn't talk about it to, I will still be writing blades & veils, because 1. i think i need consistant goals to ever write it and 2. I think nano might be a bit hectic for me to ever finish the novel. Which is kind of my goal here, after all. Basically, I think i'm finally starting to get the motivation, because I'm tired of reading all these crap fantasy novels I don't want to read. We can do better than that! And so-
I suppose I actually have to write, huh? ^_^
First day! Let's see how it goes.
I've been doing a surprising amount by hand lately, which is a habit that I happen to like better, but perhaps one I ought break before november comes.
Questions and many mentions of playlists- I smile. I compiled mine last night, and am putting the finishing touches on. Everyone else has lovely little songs and artists they can mention. Mine's about twenty straight hours of celtic music.
I think I'm going to be trying the snowflake method to plot my novel this year.I'll let you know how that goes. Mostly, what it's come down to is this- continuing an insanely convoluted story for the first time I wrote (and won!) in nano, and even though I've been slowly building it since, I have no idea what the story is ultimately about.
Which is correct and not. I know what i *think* it is about, but I'm not sure what that actually is. If that makes sense? Essentially I was going over things in my head, spent two pages recapping everything I know so far, and ended up with about half of pages of questions- almost entirely "Why?"'s that have to be sorted out in the first two chapters alone.
And I'm terrible at plots, and I'm terrible at why's, and I haven't written anything really good since I started this two years ago, so I'm sort of kicking my heels around and wondering how on earth you develop a character's whys. And a character's personality, for somebody so infuriatingly opaque as Taurin. Interesting, isn't it? Celeste was *supposed* to be the unreadable one, or at least, that's what she thinks, and here's Taurin, and no one can figure him out... hmm....
^_^ There. I said it. But she's just so- gloriously snippity, and dark, and utterly serious, and i don't think she ever, maybe only barely realises truly how comical she can be, and that makes it so much more amusing...
It's just so contagious, after all.
if the stars would have voices, i think they would be church bells, echoing sweetly through the mist.
I am not often confronted with mortality. But when I am, I find that I am almost at a loss with what to do wit it. I cannot help but wonder if it, too, is merely- if “merely” can be so lightly chosen- if mortality is simply the evidence of that other world’s existence that we cannot even comprehend.
Ah, the poet’s pretty words, ‘til after still death ringing; the statements of the playwright, both morning and accepting; the questions of the philosopher,. Can we die?...Were we ever here?
If we are truly solipsists, then how can we even see the world around us?
What if solipsism was *completely* true? Relatively completely true, as undefinable as that is? How thoroughly does this world change depending on the viewer? Is it just a chameleon to our scalèd eyes? Can one man’s mortality be the other’s alternate reality? We say that it is there; can we ever entirely prove that the world we see and touch is the same one that the next person does?
Abstract, yes, no doubt.
.... “Cruelty is a mystery, and a waste of pain. But if we describe a world to compass these things, a world that is a long, brute game, then we bump against another mystery: the inrush of power and light, the canary that sings on the skull. Unless all ages and races of men have been deluded by the same mass hypnotist (who?), there seems to be such a thing as beauty, a grace wholly gratuitous. About five years I saw a mockingbird make a straight vertical descent from the roof gutter of a four-story building. It was an act of careless and spontaneous as the curl of a stem or the kindling of a star.”
- Annie Dillard
The very definition of god is a being that is beyond our understanding, is it not? How then, if there is a such thing, could our own perceptions or beliefs even begin to matter, or to decide if one is there or not? What right do we have to make a decision like that? One might say, "It is my life, and my conscious mind, therefore I have the right to decide within my consciousness whether or not there is a god," as if the mere fact that they are alive gives them all the rights in the world. By being born they have achieved no more than any other being- be it person or dog, tree or leaf. Merely having a conscious mind in no way entitles them to any opinions. So why then do such mortals act as if their decision that there is no god means that there truly is none? I see no reason why any god worth its title would idly abide humans denying that it exists. With other humans, they at least degrade or ignore them; they at least afford each other some semblance of existence, but most humans do not have the respect to do that with what they cannot find. Where do they find the presumption within themselves to think that they understand the higher unseen?
And what would happen if you found them?
Science is overrated. Why bother knowing the how of things, if you don't know why? How does the near incomprehensible process help to understand the existance, the creation, the meaning? You see a tree and what effects you find are not microrganisms and protoplasms- it's feeling and spirit and consequence. It’s what appeals to you, not what’s bouncing around beneath the bark that spark chemical reactions. Humans aren't interested in anything unless it affects them somehow.
"When I was little, I used to imagine- but imagine isn’t strong enough a word, is it? When you are a child, these things that come from somewhere within you, these ideas and these visions are far too strong to be entrapped in a bland, logical, self- explanatory word like imagination. When you’re a child, these images are no less real to you merely because they come from your head. If anything, they are only that much more real, because it is your interest and your belief and your feeling so strongly that give them that reality. It’s like there’s another plane of reality, one that can’t be measured by logic or facts, one that can’t be labeled as x, y, or z because no one can prove that it exists, or that it even can be identified; but, because it cannot be proved that it exists, it is that much stronger. Because people want it that much more, and because it also cannot be proven that it does not exist. But it’s like this higher plane, in all the things we believed in as children, all of the things that were written off as an overactive imagination. Because maybe they really are real. Maybe they don’t take the form that we ever visualised them in. But maybe they are there just as much; just because we do not see them visually or tangibly affect our world does not mean that we cannot be just as affected by them. We don’t need see something or know it’s there to be affected by it. But that feeling... If you took away all of that feeling, I think that it would take all of the joy out of the world with it, because what how can happiness be separated from it? You can’t out and out tell a child that elves and faeries don’t exist, because as you do that, you are also telling them that what reality they cannot see does not exist. And they should be taught, if nothing else, to look for what is not there.
When I was a child, as I said, I kept "imagining" this most wonderful bubble fairies. The ‘fae equivalent of may flies, I suppose; those ephemeral prisms were their protection, their shelter. I would imagine their slender fluid forms folded in, dark mirrored eyes gazing through the refracted images of what we called our world. How huge it would seem to them, how dark and distorted; and their lives were so colourful and gentle and intuitive as they floated on the wind. Mayhap the bubbles were their chrysalis; so that when it should strike some offending branch or ruddy finger, the fairy would be realised anew into the world, and have to learn a whole new way of looking at things, of doing things, and grow into an entirely different creature than they ever could have imagined.
There’s a metaphor for ourselves in their somewhere, if you look for it.
Maybe we don’t have to grow up entirely, maybe we don’t have to loose our intuition and our imagination. Maybe we simply need to remember that magic takes other forms than we once thought we knew, but it doesn’t mean it’s not there.
...Amazing how quickly you can take a perfectly thoughtful monologue and turn it into a sappy analogy for human life, is it not?
